I love to sleep under lots of blankets. If you come over to our house you might hear That Husband saying something about “the weight of a thousand blankets.” It’s this strange inside joke we have developed between the two of us after I told him about sleeping at my Grandma Moo’s house in the waterbed underneath a pile of handmade quilts. Something about the weight was so soothing, and ever since then I have loved to sleep with lots of blankets on.

Unfortunately I also get really hot while sleeping, so I have to keep the temperature low to be able to keep covered by said blankets. We can’t have the window open because we live right next to the street with loud cars driving by all night, and we won’t use the air conditioning because we would rather spend it on things like a metal DDR pad worth several hundred dollars (yep, it’s being built for us right this very moment).

The ceiling fan would be a good option, if we could turn it up high enough for it to be effective. Unfortunately, when placed on the highest setting it shakes like a tahitian dancer. I have visions of us sleeping peacefully one night, only to be hacked to pieces by the spinning blades of death.

This video does not even do the shaking justice. Whenever one person turns the fan on while the other is lying in bed their previously restful state immediately becomes one of great agitation as they curl their legs up toward the window and yell out “Turn it down, it’s going to fall!” Yes, both the husband and the wife particpate in such displays of cowardice.

You would think that apartment complexes would have some kind of checklist called “Potential lawsuit waiting to happen” and they would go through each apartment to quickly assess the probability of being sued. Who turns this fan on, watches it turn so violently, looks at the checklist and thinks “Fan of death? Wonderful addition to our new apartments!”